poursumsugarome's Journal

Saturday Night live!
I had a glass of wine and I think I need about 14 more. SNL isnt as funny as it used to be anymore. I remember watching it and laughing and laughing.

ok, one more glass...its only 1230. An old friend I used to talk to online and I have been catching up. He apparently moved to NY for a girl - they're dating....which makes me wonder, would I ever move for the "right one"? I know the answer for me is no....if so, I may have already been gone. Lets change the subject - I had a great Thanksgiving, I hope everyone else did!

Now with Christmas on the way, I cant help but to feel a bit lonely. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh. I dont like it one bit. Lets change the subject again!

So, for about the 100th time tonight, I was told I look like Claire danes. ha! I do NOT see it. For one, shes a twig. Two, I sometimes find her attractive and other times I totally dont. Maybe its the way she turns her face. I cant help but think if *I* think this, maybe other people do -- Hmmmmmm. She has high cheekbones and grey-ish eyes and I think those are our similarities.

I thought I felt like posting an entry here, but now I dont. I feel slightly uninspired. I hope everyone is doing well though! Enjoy the rest of your weekend, dearies. xoxo

Current Mood: blank

2009?!??!
Heavens. To. Betsy. Has it really been this long? I suppose it has. Hullo to my dear LJ friends who are still here!!!

I could pretend like exciting things have happened, however - in reality -- all is pretty much the same, give or take a few things: I still work nights at the hospital, apparently the people at the top hate us lil peons, b/c they have punished us with a new computer system. Meditech 6.0 could quite possibly be linked to something to do with the antichrist.

I was dating someone.....we stopped. Now, we're dating again. Or, something or another. We just started talking again just 2 days ago...we'll see what happens. I think we're going to take it slow and enjoy our friendship, thats all I care about right now. Anytime the words "my boyfriend" come out of my mouth...something seems very odd about that. I wonder why? In any case, we both enjoy silly things like watching Family Guy, especially when we make out and laugh into each others mouths...then we laugh at that. Yeah. He likes screaming metal music that sometimes frightens me. I'm scared to ever look at the lyrics. He insists its artistic or something or other. Oh, and he's military. Mmmhm. I know.

I have a puppy! I love her more than icecream. Shes a rescue dog, and her name is Daisy. Shes a mix...australian shepherd/border collie/german shep. Shes been the easiest dog in the world to train, and I'm so proud when I come home and dont discover any accidents. However, I woke up today to scraps of paper everywhere on the floor...she loves to chew paper. Unfortunately it was 2 lottery tickets. Great! It was probally the million dollar prize, alas - I'll remain middle class with no brand spanking new car. At least I have a dog who's world absolutely revolves around me. She has the cutest face in the world so of course I forgave her. However, I'm still slightly upset about my favorite massaging recliner chair. She got on a happy chewing spree and completely severed the cord in two lovely pieces. Since then though, shes never chewed another cord. Now, the only my chair is good for is net-surfing, reclining and rocking. no more massages. :(

Hmmm. I think thats all I have to say right now. I'm about to get started back in the gym again...just a slow regimen of walking on the treadmill - I had a horrible bout with asthma and bronchitis about 3 weeks ago, and I'm trying to lose my Prednisone-eat-the-house-down weightgain.
When you're already a big girl, you certainly dont want to pack on any extra! oh!! Speaking of..thats the other thing -- I am debating whether or not to finish filling out an application for a reality show. Its called More to Love. However, I have to figure out my status with Rob first. I plan to talk to him about this tonight. So -- If you watch Fox this summer and you see "the sweet southern belle searching for true love" - Valynda - its me!! ha.
Its ridiculous, isnt it? Uh-huh. Wish me luck.

We shall see.....

Its so nice to write on here again. I'm going to make some big efforts to get back to it!!! :)

Current Mood: nostalgic

La La
Wasn't it Ashley Simpson that had a song -- You make me wanna La La?? heh
For some odd reason -- at work tonight, that tune is stuck in my head...

Perhaps because I DO want to LaLa....or I dunno...maybe because I've perked back up, and wanna do a few lil shakes n shimmies? In any case, I know I know...it's bad music -- but you can't help what works it's way into your head, now can you?

I leave again for Myrtle Beach on Thursday morning, and boy, am I excited! This go round, I am going with one of my best friends, Sterling and the lil group he went to school with in Ireland. I can't waaait to meet them all tomorrow! I have already talked to 3 of the 4 on the phone, and they sound like a lively bunch! I am prepared to take lots and lots of photos, and just perhaps -- I will become smart enough to post them here and show off my fluffy, tan arms! I plan to work on my browning process even more and to have lots of fun at Broadway on the Beach!! Also, one of the guys....he's a masseuse...I'm hopin for a lil sample rubdown, perhaps.
I am writing this down because I am the type person who makes things happen by putting them down on paper -- so, tomorrow - I intend to: Clean out my car and vaccum it, wash it, do laundry, pack, shop and find myself a new digital camera. All that will be after I can catch a bit of a nap.
Every few minutes, I keep looking down at my brown arms and hands. I have amazed myself how quickly I've tanned this summer. I went to the beach twice and the pool once, and already transformed into a nice mocha-ish color. Ahhh. How I love mocha-colored men. I suppose because my former-love was a Puerto Rican and my lifetime Carino-Conejito...aww! I miss him! But, unfortunately -- I am working on letting go of the OnlineLuvs. :( Its a tough thing!! But, I'm afraid in order to move into the future, you have to let go of the past....that's just how Life seems to work. Also, one day at a time -- I too often get ahead of myself. It's July already! I wish I'd get ahead of myself in the way of beginning my Christmas shopping now and being a responsible shopper who's well prepared for the Holidays -- but, alas. That is not the way I meant it. I should get back to work....I should also expand my horizons and collect some new LJ buddies! I think perhaps everyone else has shoved LJ into the Abyss as I did...but I want you all to come back!!!

Current Mood: excited

Hola LJ'ers!!!
I got a lil nudge (thanks!) so, I figured I'd make a lil come-back, say hi and see whats new around this joint! :) I hope this finds you all happy, healthy and well! All is well my way, except for the sweltering heat! My birthday is this Saturday!! I am beginning my vacation when I get off work this morning at 7am!! YAY! I leave my Myrtle Beach Sunday....then midweek, I'll be in Emerald Isle for a Bachelorette party next weekend. Summer fun! :)

I am stealing this from Ms. Jessica, I spotted it out on her LJ -- and I think it'll be a nifty thing since I've been absent for so long!

You know how sometimes people on your friend's list post about stuff going on in their life, and all of a sudden you think "Wait a minute? Since when are they working THERE? Since when are they dating HIM/HER? since when???" And then you wonder how you could have missed all that seemingly pretty standard information, but somehow you feel too ashamed to ask for clarification because it seems like info you *should* already know? It happens to all of us sometimes.

Please copy mine below, erase my answers putting yours in their place then post it in your journal! Please elaborate on the questions that would benefit from elaboration! One-Word-Answers seldom help anyone out :)

1. First Name: Valynda (I have a million nicknames though) hehe!

2. Age: Ahem. I am foreverrrr 24. :P

3. Location: Goldsboro, NC

4. Occupation: Medical Sexytary

5. Partner: I have a few partners in crime! hehehe :)

6. Kids: Negativo.

7. Brothers/Sisters: 2

8. Pets: Nope, no time.

9. List the 3-5 biggest things going on in your life: Various things going on in various areas....right now, workin nightshift, 3 days a week, 12 hour shifts - lovin my time away from the hospital! Trying to focus on my career and the future and living life one day at a time and enjoy every moment!! =)

10. Where and for what did you go to school for?: First, have gone for medical office....now I'm finishing up pre-reqs for Nursing school, hope to get in next year!

11) Parents: I have a wonderful, loving, precious mother who is like my child.

12) Who are some of your closest friends?: Oh, Lord! I cant name all my close friends, I am blessed to have alotttt of close friends in my life.....nothin like the ones you can call on no matter what though. Thru thick n thin! They know who they are :)

Hope everyone is doing well whereever you are, I sure miss the ol' LJ days! <3 <3

Current Mood: cheerful

I hate cold, dreary Saturday afternoons spent here at work instead of snuggled up in my bed, or better yet....spending - cleaning up my cyclone of living quarters. Since, I've been running to and fro so frequently, I've neglected housework, allll over the house, and the living room is beginning to look like some sort of bachelor pad, which is sad b/c the living room is always the one room I'm insistent on keeping presentable. Reading Ashleys journal has made me want to try to focus and spend some time on my housekeeping skills.

oh well. I'm overwhelmed, I'm tired, and I am sick of poor care from so-caled nurses. My mother has staph infection in her wound. I ended up taking her to the ER yesterday for a shot of an antibiotic. 10 more days. That is all I am saying about that.

I am SO not in the Holiday spirit! Maybe once my mom is back home, it will come upon me. As of now, I do not care about decorating, shopping, wrapping, or any other involvements. What I AM interested in however (big shocker here) is appetizers. I have already come up with a list of appetizers for Christmas time! I love appetizers. Cheesestraws, sausage balls, lil smokies in the crock pot, a cheeseball, etc etc...I feel domestic and I want to cook for a large group of friends. I want to fill the air with the scents of coffee, even though i hate it, and hot chocolate and minty-things! That does make me feel cozy.

The other thing that would make me feel cozy would be some high-quality snuggling. oh well.

Another thing! I am contemplating being a paid member again -- but since its been sooo long - I wonder if they will recover alll my old cute icons! i wish they would. I have decided to post a pic here since it's been so long, this is from summer and my dear and silly friends and I. I love them so! They love me despite my frequent outbursts, silliness and constant primping and grooming, even when I whine and spend 10 minutes to place an order anywhere we eat. Those are real friends!

Murky Mondays
Nights filled with tossing and turning, and restless rest make for a tough day! I had to get up at 7am to have my mom at the dr at 8:50 for a follow up appt. I had weird dreams that included my dad and uncle who have both passed away. Then, I kept waking up thinking I had overslept. Ugh. In any case, today was filled with all sorts of tough things. My mom had the chance to get a private room, so she had to leave her beloved roommate, Ms. Bell. Ms. Bell was also quite sad, b/c she will no longer receive the same treats we take to mom -- such as Bojangles chicken and tootsie rolls. I will still visit her though! Even though, its a long hike. They are giving my mom too much Flexeril, 3 a day is toooo much for my mother, who has been taking nothing but ALeve for the past 2 yrs for pain - which is why the morphine and percocet made her so loopy at the hospital! In any case, always remember -- DONT put your parents in a nursing home unless you just absolutely Can not under any circumstances care for them any other way! Especially Britthaven or Sunbridge. Ugh. I wish I could buy and own nursing homes! It makes me so mad.
Next thing on the list to make for a horrible day: I finally pretty much had a season finale to Myself and my Latin Lovers on and off again 2 yr so-called-relationship. It made me sad, but in some ways, he made it easy. I was mad for 20 minutes, then I was incredibly sad, then I had a freshly cooked doublecheeseburger and a bag of funyuns, and it somehow soothed my soul. The oatmeal cake started to make me feel sappy again, but I made it through it.. Now, the hard part. Moving on. Starting totally from scratch. A clean slate. In some ways, people think this is good..but it makes me sad. I mean, I have been the kinda girl who somehow always seems to have a guy on Reserve somewhere. That sounds terrrible. But, dont we all do that to a point? We have friends, sometimes who we think of as more, or they think of us as more...and at different times - we come into each others lives, thru a phonecall, a visit, emails, talking, but - all in all, you are ultimately Friends. And, that is in the end - all that really matters. I have gotten lost in writing this, but somehow I feel better, and I see my slate as pretty and bright instead of dark and alone. So, maybe someone can come along and write on it, draw some hearts, smiley faces...some decorations to make it all okay again.

Big thanks to my sweeeeeeeeeet, dear friends who are going out their way to make sure I have a special Thanksgiving, despite my mom not being able to be home. This includes my fabulous family - my cousins, my aunt, grandma -- and friends I couldnt live without - Trent, David, his mom and dad, and Josh all the way in Mississippi, who's fo sho, a friend for life. Ha. This is like my very own album, and my Special Thanks Section. I can hardly wait for Friday, when we have Big Gay Thanksgiving! Hopefully, I will have pictures! uhhhhmmm, except, I dont know how to post them on here now. :(

Current Mood: confused

Egads!
Has it reallly been this long?! Heavens. Has anyone missed me? or, even noticed I left? Or, just when you THOUGHT I left?! ha!

Lets see here -- what of importance can I note here?

I feel I've become a more private type of person. I like to keep secrets, and I've gotten pretty dang good at keeping all sorts of surprises! And, the amount of bribery I have collected is unreal! I've had pastors flirting with me, and sending me risque' text message that would shock the dirtiest of girls and boys...men with girlfriends who are seeking a "good time". I swear, I question quite often if someone has played a joke on me, and has my name, number and picture posted on strip joint bathroom walls. Who knows.
I know this, I'm proud of myself - because instead of being the sort of girl who follows adventure and excitment, the forbidden and unknown -- instead, I've been a boring girl who works, goes to school, and helps the elderly carry heavy things in and out of places. Oh, and who hasnt had sex in a long, long time. But, its ok! well, sorta.
What else? My mother finally had a hip replacement, last week as a matter of fact, and it has been quite the whirlwind! Taking care of her, traveling back and forth 45 minutes each way to the hospital she was at for 6 days, and now in a Rehab center for physical therapy. It's actually a nursing home/Rehab center, and there have been problems already, but don't fear! I've showed my ass and pretended I have authority since I do work at a hospital and further proving I know my rights and shit! In any case, the number one person my mother wants to help her, to call on and just in general is none other than her lovely daughter, Valynda. Me. When she was high on pain meds, I was also the one who seemed to annoy her most with my silly quesions like " are you having pain?" "do you need anything?" -- I'm still slightly worried about the effect of pain meds -- even though, basically all she is on now is Aleve and Ultram...she is still not back to old self. Anyhow, thats the excitment as of late. Oh, and cold weather seems to have reared it's head Finallllllllllly. I have to admit even though I am poor and have been out of work so much lately -- I still got tricked into purchasing wayyy too much at Lane Bryant by those evil coupons they send out. However!! I got 2 verry cute sweaters, and 2 bras too! Also, I've already broken out my winter cute clothes. It's unbelievable the smile that winter puts on my face, when I can once again hide my fat arms and legs with outrageously cute and fasionable winter-wear! I hope I can possibly find some cute, yet extremely comfortable shoes too. It makes me sad that all cute shoes have to make my feet want to cry, but whats a girl to do?! Why cant girls wear a super cuuute outfit with her New Balances?!?! Oh well.
I am currently working on many goals in my life. I'm happier than ever with the friends I have and the relationships I've built. I can't wait for my mother to be able to come back home, and be able to walk properly again, and hopefully even drive her car! I have lots of work to do, and even though I'm currently running on empty, I hope to re-charge very soon and start preparing for the Holidays. oh. Today, I lost my voice. I still came to work though. Still a trooper, eh? Everyone who still loves me be sure to say hi, and tell me how you are doing! I want updates! =) xoxo

Current Mood: busy

Hi
I am alive. I wish I could muster up all the words and goings-on of the last uhhh, 5 months or so, but I am sure I can't. So I will give you the brief synopsis:

I had a Birthday, I'm another year older, and this is the first year I will most likely begin to lie about my age. I see this as totally appropriate b/c in actuality -- I really DO feel only 24. Seriously!

I have wonderful lovely friends. We get in spats, but I mean -- who wouldnt when a gayboyfriend decides to steal your camera full of racy pictures and flash it to other homosexuals in a car for kicks? We made up, and yes, I still love them. However, I can't for the life of me, figure out why gay men seem to adore female breasts so much. ?

I am still stumbling along, trying my best to figure out life. Figuring out mine has not been as difficult as in the past or as I expected it to be as I age. I know who I am, where I am going, and if I get lost, I have GPS! (isnt that what they call it?) : x So, all is well. Men are still odd and weird, and I don't spend half as much time as I used to fretting and woe-ing over things that probally will never change. I shrug my shoulders alot, I wear short skirts, I still show my cleavage way too much, but it's all a part of the extra dose of Sassy I received over the last few months. Just in case you are wondering, or care - yes, I am still single. Men do still pursue me, but it just never intrigues me the way I have set up in my mind for it to be....so, really, I can't complain. All is well. I am content. It's nothing to get bent out of shape about.

I am still in school, start the much-awaited Anat. and Physiology class I've tried for months to get in. So, that will tie up more of my time and keep me busier. I must say I think I do a fine job of juggling work, my social activities and school. This semester, I think, will pose to be a big-time challenge. However, if you know me...you know I am ALWAYS up for a good challenge. :)

I've been on a few trips...most recently, to GA. It was a fun time, though I must admit - not as I had anticipated. There's more to say, but I have work to do. Hope you all are doing well. I miss you all and reading your interesting life-happenings. Much love to each and every one who may read this. xoxo

Current Mood: nostalgic

Not much to report lately, not alot going on really. Last week and this week, I've been working ol' nightshift 11pm-7am...so I am here now. I've slept ok...though, 7 or 8 hours of daytime sleep somehow just does NOT compare to night-sleeping. It's been fun though, I love the nightshift crew. It's been like old times. Tonight is my last night, and I'm thankful for it. Other than work, class and my crazy schedule - not much has been going on. I seem to have hit a weird sorta funk, where I want to not leave the house while I'm working nightshift, unless it is to swing into a fastfood drivethru in my pajamas to grab something to eat. I have strange cravings for baby dill pickles and chips and salsa. I hate cooking these days (not that I was ever fond of it) and hmmm, let's see --- what else? Men. Would you like to hear about that area?

Hmmmmmm. Right now, I cannot find the right words to comment on that subject. Maybe another day! Just know, all is well...and I am in a good place. Oh!! And, in my spare time with friends....Playing Nintendo Wii! That system is just awesome! Tennis and bowling are my favs, but my friend Sterling didn't tell me there's another category that has fitness and includes Hula-hooping! Isn't that neat-o?!

Hate to cut this short, but dr's and people are piling in and I gotta get busy! Hope everyone is doin well! xoxo

Current Mood: exhausted

Reflections of......the way Life used to be....
I was stunned to log onto Livejournal.com and see how much time has past since I last logged on! It's ridiculous - pure abandonment. But, I can't help it...peer pressure has sucked me into the frenzy called MySpace. Posts, Bulletins, Comments, Pictures! Investigating ex's and seeing what's new and improved in the lives of people I went to high school with.

In any case, I've been terribly busy in this New Year. I was quite dissapointed I was only able to sign up for one class this semester, but one is better than none. Developmental Psych is indeed interesting, but it's at 8:30 a.m. and there is one boy in particular that feels the need to babble on and on, maybe trying to convince us all of how intelligent he is....or maybe he just likes to hear himself talk. I don't know, but I'm annoyed. I am also annoyed that I seem to be a seat-drifter. Everytime I come to class, someone is in my seat in the left back corner of the room! Last class session, some new girl...and this time, some boy who stared at me as I ran in class late today, who made me feel like I had a huge mascara mark on my cheek or a booger hanging out of my nose....so I just sat in a different spot again..
Also, there is this online thing called Blackboard. I hate it. I hate the forums, and the fact we have to answer a question then comment to two responses. Ugh. If I wanted an online class, I'd have taken one!

Enough about that. Let's talk social life. Mine includes spending long weekends completely with my gay boyfriends. This is a way to distract my mind from other things, and wonderrrrfullly fun! Good food, Good friends, Laugh, Deep conversations about various subjects, Good times all around. Also, in the New Year...I am untouchable. I've spent a lot of time reflecting, asking myself what I want. Also, I have a Bitch face! I have practiced it in the mirror, and I'm pretty sure near perfection. I am for the most part, unmoved, unconcerned yet content. It's a good place to be, and helps me move forward with life on a daily basis...I know who I am, and I like that. I figure if guys can do what they want, I can too! And, I like this. The raw honesty and saying what I think. It's good to have and SHOW a sweet side, then on the other hand - be saucy and sassy, and don't have any shame in it. I'm almost 30 also. Can you believe that?!

Current Mood: happy

How's 2007 for you?
Happy New Years and junk a day or two late!

My new year was happily spent with my boyfriends at a gay party in Raleigh. And, I don't mean gay in a bad way....it was ALL MOSTLY men there...and though, we finally went upstairs and found our own private room for our lil group, I think next go round, I should spend it at a party with at least SOME straight men, so I can somehow feel sought after. ha. It's ok though, I still had an excellent time. For the most part, I stayed sober, and watched a few of them get drunk. It was hilarious, and oddly enough when gay men get drunk - they forget they like boys! My breasts were the party favor of the night it seemed. :x
Good times!

I haven't made any silly resolutions, however I have in mind some changes I'd like to make, improvements, etc etc. For the most part, I've kinda rolled with it...easy going, gliding along. I like it.

Did I tell you I took a bad fall on Friday morning? I can't remember...I slid, and fell really hard on my right hip, back and shoulder, I came on into work (since I DO work at a hospital) and the pain got reallly bad, so I went and got xrayed. Nothing broken, yay! I AM still sore though...so, that was my End-of-the-year badluck spree. NO MORE. 1. Car died 2. Glasses broken 3. Val takes a Tumble

But! At least...1. Got my car fixed! 2 Have an eye appt on Thurs to get new glasses, and at least I had my spare pair.

So, positive thoughts ahead....I sign up for classes again tomorrow...I only have 2 more I can take before I get into the program, so I'm shooting for Developmental Psych and A&P. Here's hoping I get another cuute teacher! =)

Current Mood: hopeful

Merry! Merry! ? ?
Hope everyone had a wonderful Holiday! I can't complain, my Christmas was wonderful...I loved all my great prizes. Clothes, shoes, DVDs, CD's, perfumes, Baskets and bags and loads of Bath and Bodyworks lotions and whatnot! It was all lovely. My dear sweet mother gave me the money to get one of those cute lil razor phones with the MP3 player on it...so I will get right on that in the next week or so perhaps.

So, let's break this down into categories, so I won't get too horribly sad and poke my lips out.

And, in staying on the positive note -- we will begin with:

Good News: I made a C in Chemistry! I passed, yay! The final was sooo hard, I cried afterwards, and was the last person to leave the class with a verry heavy heart. I didn't make a good grade on the final, but my professor passed me anyhow. I am going with the reason for passing being - the weekend before the final we had both attended the same Christmas party, we seem to share mutual friends, and I have pictures of him and I with our arms around each other all huddled up lover-stle perhaps? ha. I dunno. Maybe he DOES love me....but, he did come up and visit me at work on Sat. (he had a friend in the hospital) and let me know I did earn my grade...I am totally sending him a Starbucks gift certificate. Other good news: I had a great Christmas, found out there ARE guys who do indeed have crushes on me, managed to finish all my shopping and NOT at the last minute. I am sure there are more good things, but at this time, they are pushed somewhere far in the back of my brain.

Bad News: On Saturday, Dec. 23rd, on my way to work - my car started acting all weird - my clock went in and out, my radio was blinking on and off, my airbag light and some other orange light came on, and pretty much I was afraid my car was goign to explode and I'd die horribly in a blaze, or the airbag was about to pop out and knock out my two front teeth. Neither happened, thankfully, but halfway to work - my car sputtered a bit, and decided to totalllllly die - all I had time to do was swing onto the side of the road.
I had to call a towtruck to come pick up my car, take it to the mechanic shop who works on my car sometimes, who told me I wouldnt be able to get my car back till Wed. Long story short - it was the alternator, it costed $400.00 to get fixed, I DID get it back today (add that to GoodNews column!)
However, last night around 10 pm here at work, I was cleaning my glasses lazy-girl style on my scrubs, and my frame snapped and broke at the top. So, a friend at work taped my glasses in true ghettofabulous fashion. I will go tomorrow, when the place is opened back up and see if my insurance will cover to fix them. Thankfully, I found my spare pair in my beachbag.

So, I am making it. End of the year Badluck....making room for Goodluck for the beginning of the year?
Let's hope so.

Also, can I say....at our Christmas Eve family get-together, I can't help but feel loserish when my 20 year old and 22 year old cousins bring their boyfriend and girlfriend, all huddled up giggling and snuggling and holding hands and my little cousins say - "Valynda, when are YOU getting married?!" le sigh. It's kinda sad...I am really longing for a decent gentleman to bring on my arm to meet my family. It's all so sweet and snug.

Current Mood: blah

Please respond as soon as possible, thanks!
Editing Friends today.

It's wayyy past due. If I haven't talked to you in a long long time, you need to let me know...
otherwise, take care!

Current Mood: bitchy

HMPH
Finally, one of my most favorite-ist books makes it to the big screen, so needless to say - I was ecstatic to make it out to see it. Stupid Goldsboro, NC has NO showings of Running With Scissors!

And, on a search - neither did any other close towns surrounding here! INSANE. It's an outrage!
That was SUCH a wonderful book, it's DEF. one of the best I've ever read...one I absolutely could not put down, from start to finish.

Hmph. I wish I could write to someone. Or, something. Instead, I'll pout and my already horrible day at work will become atrocious, and give me more to roll my eyes and frown at.
If my grandma saw me, she'd tell me to "stop that frowing, your beautiful skin will be ruined! You don't want frown wrinkles, now do you?!" FROWN FROWN FROWN I predict some Oil of Olay in my future, mayhaps?

I'm tired. My back has been achey, I don't like it. I think I need a new mattress.

I'm at a loss of what I'd like for Christmas. Hmmmm. I should seriously put some thought into it this week. I have most everything I need or want...minus some things, that I can indeed live without. I'd rather hit the Lottery! Then, I could buy and buy for everyone else! All I want in life lately is my own House. I can't wait for the day I can go out, and buy my own home!
Seriously. All I need out of life is my own cozy, lovely house and a huge walk-in closet.
That can't possibly be too much to ask!! Oh well...I will achieve that in time. Patience sucks!
But, it's necessary I suppose.

Yay! My food just got here. I've been soo busy at work, I had to order CHinese..and I'm now going to eat dinner at 8:10. Mmmm. Hope you are all having a better night, Lovelies! xoxo

Current Mood: infuriated
Current Music: Rockstar - Nickelback

If you read this, DO it!!! :)
I got this from my new LJ friend, Ms.

snarky_angel =) Thanks for sharing!

Comment and I'll give you a letter; then you have to list 10 things you love that begin with that letter. Post your list in your journal, and give out some letters of your own; leave a comment for me here so I can read your list!

She gave me B!

B!

Beach - I lovvve the beach, everything about it calms and soothes me,
I tend to think NC beaches are the best. :)

Bands - I LOVE hearing and watching live bands. I love allll kinds
of music.

Books - Reading used to be a passion of mine, I don't make enough
time for it, or HAVE the time like I used to..

Babies - Awww! Enough said! I don't have any, but who DOESNT love
babies?!

Bed - I love my bed, and being in bed, watching TV, reading, whatever.
one of my most fav. places to be.

Baking - It's fun, and WAY better than regular cooking!

Boats - I love riding on boats, especially big ones, even better -
CRUISE! Ahhhh.

Bacon - Mmmm! BLT's. One of my all-time favs.

Breezes - There is nothing like a lovely breeze.

BBW! Proud to be a BBW - We rock!! And, I'm runnin out of B's! =)hehehe

Current Mood: good
Current Music: She Talks to Angels

Guess who's back...
Hope everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving!

It's not that I haven't had a lot to say, I just sit down to write about it, and I can't seem to put it all together like I used to. Did I say that last time I posted? I think I did.

See? Sheesh! I used to be a good writer. Really! Honest!

So, with Holidays and chilly weather comes the bustle and hustle of people rushing around eager to empty their checkbooks and wallets, swiping debit and credit cards, and totally forgetting the Reason for it all.

I am seriously thinking of doing all online shopping this year...however, I am carefully putting extra thought into every gift I give. The most difficult will be my lovely high-maintainence gay boyfriends. I'll be sure it's something they will treasure and not toss out in the trash next year, not even remembering who gave them "THAT".

I'm at work now, so I can't fully focus on this post. Of course, if you know me - you know my attention span is sometimes as long as my pinky finger anyhow.

This is the segment where I again talk about cold weather and how I make lots of sadfaces over not having someone to snuggle with. I have come to a conclusion though...I do not have time for Mediocre. I just can't deal with it. Perhaps this makes me picky, bitchy, or "ridiculous" even (according to my mother) but, I know what I want. And, hopefully I will find it. Also! Hopefully, I will find some snazzy cute winter-hats to wear!
Oh! That reminds me...I have brown as my base-hair-color now. I am not sure I like it. I still have thin blonde streaks in it. I needed a change, and it's different, but I feel like there should be more! Something dramatic! Wowing! ha.

I have some new LJ friends by the way! Thanks to my pal, wbahner. I know..I know..I should have done a LJ cut or whatever there...but I'm too lazy, and I always forget! :(

Anyhow! Here's a lil survey snagged from a new LJ friend, Ms._kristie!!! Thanks!! =)

Also, thanks to the new LJ pals who've added me!!! :)

1. Yourself:
Valicious, Sweet, Sassy, Sexy, fun

2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend?
Non-existent! :(

3. Your hair?
Long

4. Your mother?:
Loving

5. Your Father:
Heaven

6. Your Favorite Item:
Car

7. Your dream last night:
Shopping!

8. Your Favorite drink:
Diet coke

9. Your Dream Car:
Lexus

10. The room you are in:
Work - Nurses Station

11. Your Ex's:
Stupid

12. Your fear:
Losing another parent

13. What you want to be in 10 years:
Married. Career-oriented.

14. Who you hung out with last night?
Open House party

15. What You're Not?
Fake

16. Muffins:
chocolate chip!

17: One of Your Wish List Items:
New computer, or a laptop? Hmm.

18: Time:
12:35 - Lunchtime!

19. The Last Thing You Did:
Blinked

20. What You Are Wearing:
Scrubs

21. Your Favorite Weather:
Fall

22. Your Favorite Book:
Running with Scissors

23. The last thing you ate:
Mon Cheri

24. Your Life:
Blessed

25. Your Mood:
Happy

26. Your friend:
Silly, fun, caring

27. What are you thinking about right now?
Wrangling my way out of work tomorrow (chemistry test) :(

28. Your car:
Maxima : )

29. What are you doing at the moment?
Duh!

30. Your summer:
HOT

31. Your relationship status:
Single

32. What is on your tv?
Its at home! ...dust? :x

33. What is the weather like?
Chilly, temp is rising today, yay!

34. When is the last time you laughed?
uhhh, 10 min ago. Nurses-station Chatter! ;)

Current Music: Heart Shaped Box - Nirvana

Chilly snuggles
Too much to cram into one post.

The wedding was LOVELY..I promise to post pictures later. Everything worked out swell, except the wedding director lady forgot to come to the back and get us...so 5 girls (in painful shoes) + one bride were running around the church to the front while everyone sat politely wondering where the Bridesmaids were. I, of course was the first out of breath bridesmaid to make the trek down the aisle...my flower was backwards, (I held it the wrong way, and quickly fixed it when the other girls all lined up the front beside me and I realized mine was the wrong way) and my shawl sort-of-thing wasn't on right, but all in all, everything was great!

As for everything else...Hmmmmmmmmm. Trouble seems to follow me!! I don't know how or why, but I get all sorts of attention from the wrong people. I'm thinking because it is Attention, in whatever form...I am happy to receive it. Or, perhaps I like the unobtainable? Who knows.

I know this!! Weekend beach getaways with fabulous gay men are spectacular! We had the best time on our lil weekend retreat. I will have to come up with some of those pictures also. It was myself and 5 gay men. Then, a guy-friend of mine came for the day Saturday. He was SUCh a good sport. heh. Totally NOT gayphobic. This pleases me. This will definitely be a requirement for whatever guy I may end up with. We went to Ft Macon and the new aquarium at the beach. A good time was had by all. Derek and Trent woke me up in the early mornings by hopping into my bed and snuggling. I miss that. :(

I enjoy warm bodies in the chilly mornings. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Next year, I would very much like to go somewhere abroad. I think it would be exciting and fun! Would anyone like to go with me?

Also, something has to give. I need no more flings, none of those torrid love affairs. Sure, they're hot and steamy but I need a sincere romance, something hot and passionate and lasting. Someone who wants a solid long-term relationship. Mind you, this is coming from a girl who never reallllllllllly knows what she wants. However, I am sure on this one. I know, I know...when it's right -- I'll KNOW and you can't seek out these sort of things. I know all this already. But, I have to somehow change my flirtations or my vixen-ness or something! It all gets out of hand! It's hard to put into words. I also can't say it's a lack of interested parties...that is not the case. Oh bother! I shouldn't bitch and moan about it.

Next, on the agenda -- pull my 68 average to a 78. A 78 is the goal. A 70 will gladly, happily be accepted. But, we're talking goals here. My Chemistry professor knows I love him. I was out sick this past Wednesday, and my friend Stacey took to heart what I told her and after class told him I was sick, but I "still love him". She said he laughed and said - That sounds just like her! Secretly, I think this means he loves me too.

This will be my third weekend off in a row. Out of low funds, and a slight twinge of guilt - I am working 3pm-7pm tomorrow. Then, it's out with the boys for dinner at some fancy restaurant. I am planning what to wear as I type. I think more pictures are in order! What do you think?!

Ok. I have work to do now. No more slacking. Working Friday evenings make me saddest of all. It's the night that makes my heart leap and jump the most. I hope everyone is doing well. I miss all you lovely cuties. <3 <3 <3

Current Mood: horny

As time races by...
It's amazing how the days and weeks and months pass by so quickly, and at other times, it seems they are just dragggging along.

I have been on the go lately, in a wonderful busy sort of way. Keeping up with work, school and a social life have definitely kept my sense of time in a big hazy cloud. It's been nice going out again though, it's what a 20-something girl SHOULD be doing. I've come to that conclusion.
My friend, Crystal's wedding is this Saturday. THis wedding has cost me more money than I think it should have...from a $200 dress, to shoes, to being spray tanned this Thurs, then a hair appt Friday morning are sending me into a financial distress. The other thing is...since school has began for me, my hours at work were cut, obviously that being the way Management has dealt with my classes. Ugh. I don't like it! I am not accustomed to money issues, not since my early 20's when I got myself into a terrible bind with credit cards. I also do not like pulling money from my Savings to my Checking just to cover me in a 2 week span. :(

Oh! A quick question for whomever may be able to help?! For this wedding, after we walk down the aisle, and do our sweet lil Bridesmaid duties including pictures and whatnot, is it rude or against all ethics to change into something more comfortable? That dress just seems it's not made for sitting, and I may grow tired of people asking me "when I'm due" in it. ;x So, is it bad to change into something else...and if so, what would be appropriate?? Hmmm. More shopping, for Heaven Sakes! :x

I'll have to think up a solution for all this somehow. If you are interested in how Chemistry is going -- I am still proudly holding a C average. I still need to get that spectacular calculator my professor has recommended several times for our own Cheating-in-a-legal-sortaway-pleasure and guaranteed passing grade!!

As far as other things, karaoke on Friday nights has become a lovely ritual and meeting new people has been enjoyable and made my cheeks hurt from all the smiling and laughter.

Also, I met a guy. It's a long story...

We'll see!

Just maybe...one day, I might want kids. Isn't that weird?! Is it bad I think I may want them because I'm curious about what they may look like? : x

Current Mood: hungry

And they said it would be easy..
What could possibly be more frustrating than Chemistry?! What a huge mix of emotions I've felt this evening. Sad. Dissapointed. Angry. And, the list goes on. I do still have a C average, but this past test, the one I ACTUALLY had the nerve to feel pretty decent about...I made 2 points LESS than the last one! :( If I'm doing this way now, who's to say I'll even make it in the RN Nursing program? It's all so disheartening.
What's worse is having a good friend in the class...whom I love dearly, but has the nerve to call and tell me she made a 96, but dammit, since she didn't do all her homework, HER average dropped by like 3 points. And, she was SO unprepared for this past quiz! Oh, you pooooooooor thing! What a shame! Which, mind you, STILL gives her an A.

Sigh. I'm a bad person. I must be. And, this new section we started...of course RIGHT after the 1st hour spent on the test, we jump into Chapter 7.
He may has well been talking some sort of alien-creature talk and scribbling big circles with dots that were some part of Outer-Space 101.

Of course, everyone scoffs. C-average! Well, that's great! That's passing...and I really must try to look at it that way myself. It seems your days of being an over-achiever are over, Val. Get over it! Even go to class one day and don't brush your hair or put on makeup. Chew gum loud, pop it even! Some of these things and more should surely make me feel better?

Anyhow, I'm tired of talking about it!

In other news, I am feeling slightly lonely, Mike had to cancel out on me because apparently I am not the only one having difficulties in school - which proves it COULD be worse...he's taking Physics for the 2nd time and some other super-difficult class...at first, I felt he was just blowing me off, more than likely because of the horrible trust issues I have with men,and being hurt in the past, I was super-bitchy at first, he was super-sweet, and I felt bad. I had said No Dating anyhow. He wants to try for next week, I said Maybe. We'll see. He seems to be a nice guy, but I just don't know.

The other news is - I would very much like to get an eyebrow ring. I even called today to check the prices out and see how long the healing process would be, and if I could possibly get a clear one, so the professional people I work with won't act offended, or whisper about how I'm secretly a total freak. (among other things)

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: Knockin' on Heavens Door

Reflections of...
the way life used to be.

Yesterday, for most of my bad day, I had thoughts of 9/11 and the people who had lost loved ones, and even the people who are still losing loved ones everyday...because what is happening now is still a big part of what happened then. Just in a different way. I teared up several times on the drive to work, listening to recorded messages of wives trying to reach their husbands, or frantic parents and family members trying to reach their loved ones, praying to hear their voice pick up on the end of the line...
Stupid makeup. Luckily, I found a qtip in my purse and touched things up. I was late anyhow yesterday.

I didn't write about it...but it was on my mind. It still is actually. As anniversaries of tragedies roll around from year to year, it's a time to reflect. Just as I do every year on the day my dad and brother passed away so many years ago. Sometimes, it feels like it was a lifetime ago, and other times..just as though it was yesterday.

Not dwelling on the past though...Always remember, never forget, but don't dwell.

I had a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich on soft white bread for breakfast. I remember when I used to HATE eggs. I still can't bring myself to blend peanutbutter and jelly together though. One or the other! Not together!

I can hardly wait until karaoke again Friday night! It seems that interesting, intriguing, comical guy, Dave (with the glasses!) *Mmmm* I met that one night at karaoke has disspeared into the wild, blue yonder.

(or went home to his wife and kids?) :x What a dissapointment! We had such terrific conversation. And, Please. DON'T ask for my phone number unless you intend to USE it.
Hmph. Oh well. What a waste of a perfectly good yellow stickynote. It's a good thing I stole them from the hospital. Hopefully, this weekend we can perform a new number, I of course, will be the girl looking down at the floor or directly at the screen trying desperately to hide behind a barstool.

Current Mood: calm

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