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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in poursumsugarome's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, May 1st, 2013
4:02 am
Fans
I love the noise that fans make!

Are you also one of those people that need a fan turned on to go to sleep? I dont HAVE to, but I admit, its nice to hear the comforting buzz and feel the cool air. I HATE being hot. I'm also a nervous sweat-er. It's so embarrassing. I sweat especially in long lines. Check-out lines are the worst. Christmas time causes beads of sweat to pop out and my cheeks get all red and rosy. Too many people crowding around me makes me nervous and hot. It's a terrible thing. Maybe people who see me just think I'm jolly.

I wonder if I was skinny if I'd still break out into a sweat like that.....I think it's more of a nervous thing and less of a fat-girl sort of thing. ew. Ha. I never say that either. I hate how it sounds....abrasive. I'd much rather say Big-girl, heavy-set, or fluffy-chick. Those are much better terms, in my opinion....but I KNOW gals who don't mind say FG. Yes. Let's leave it at FG.

I'm seriously trying to motivate myself to get back to the gym again! Especially since I'm pretty much giving For Women Only Fitness a donation every month, and have been for over a year now...which is how long its been since I've been back. If I can get motivated to get going, I know I'll get into the swing of it and be feeling much better....but in the meantime, I'm lazy and just want to SLEEP and be home most of the time. I have feared turning into a hermit crab recluse. There's nothing with going out, and I enjoy it with my friends, but for the most part, I'd just rather be home and comfortable. I think I may be tooooo comfortable, though. That's prob. not a good thing. Anyhow, there's so much I want/need to work on about myself -- I should really start focusing and get to it!

Motivation, where aaaarrrrrrrre you!??!?!

I'm working on Peds, it's hot down here. There are 8 kids and it was busy for 2 hours, now I'm just sitting here with little baby fans on enjoying the direct air-blow. Hope everyone is dandy and fine. (And coooooool) :)

Current Mood: hot
Friday, April 26th, 2013
6:42 am
Favorites
My Favorite flower is a gerber daisy - I love the pinks and the bright colors, it's a happy flower and I've always considered myself a happy-type gal just like my favorite people are super funny, sarcastic, cynical and fun.

The things we love the most are usually associated with the people we know who make us the most happy...or bring back lovely beautiful, happy memories. There are things we love that can conjure up sad feelings too....but usually it goes full circle back to reminding us of happier times.....b/c there is ALWAYS something positive you can find, I believe -- even out of a negative situation.....
Sometimes, I feel I can't find the words I strive to say, or that I may not convey it in the right way. But, thankfully sometimes -- we don't need words.

I was going to write about Favs.

As I'm older, my favorite is being happy and seeing those I care about happy.
Tuesday, April 23rd, 2013
12:53 am
Not Anymore
I've decided to come back here and start writing again. It's healthy and good and helps to have somewhere to rant to, even if hardly anyone reads it. The less who see it, the better probably anyhow.

I'm working in the ICU tonight, it's usually quiet but it's been busy as all get out this evening. I'm glad I get to leave at 3am. I figured since I have a few available moments....I'd make a rant - this will probably be quite boring for anyone to read and no one will really get the extent of it.

So, just for my own mental stability:

I'm far too great of a catch to keep wasting my time on dead-end roads.
Aka: Long distance. Even more specific: Washington State.
The past TX, Mass, Atlanta,Ga and a few others were hard lessons I SHOULD have learned from.

Especially for someone who doesn't even show that they give 2 cents for me....Sure, we've been Friends for years and hopefully will continue to be.....but, the days of heart flutterings and wishing and hoping and praying for more are just Over. Being ignored is something I've never tolerated well and mixed signals just piss me off. If you love me, SAY you love me. I understand things like being in debt and life-probs, but seriously?!??! You FIND a way....even when there seems to be no way. At least efforts to see and spend time with the one you "love". Call me crazy but that's just my own personal opinion.

....We will always have a strong connection and a good friendship (Hopefully) these days I'm seeing that Nothing seems to be forever! (except your love for a child) and I'm not even going to TOUCH that one right now.....I'm so hormonal and my biological clock is ticking so loud I sometimes fear people beside me hear it. :/

I've always been a very strong believer that Actions speak louder than Words.

I wish I'd quit drowning my sorrows in Dominos Spinach feta artisan pizzas! :/
I want one now.

Current Mood: aggravated
Saturday, April 20th, 2013
11:04 pm
It's 2013!
Just in case you needed a reminder. Here I am in 2013. Still in NC, for all you stalkers out there.

It's April and I've grown slightly fidgety. I'm bored with life. I need Changes. Big changes. I just wish those changes didn't involve MAKING the change. Do you get that? Does anyone? ha. I'm not sure I even do myself. Like, I wish I could get in a time machine or a swirly wind machine and get right to where I want to go. The problem? I am not fully certain of WHERE I actually Do want to go.

I'm a box of riddles. A never-ending flurry of swirling confusion!

The good news is - I appear to have it all together.

I hope you are all doing wonderfully.

I sure miss my online days, they were fun. Witty and Thinkers were fun spots...it's hard to believe I still know people from back then..of course, a few hate me now also apparently. It kills me and breaks my heart. One was a dear dear close friend, I even went to visit him in GA. Maybe thaat was the mistake. :( The worst is he won't and didn't even tell me why. Or, Goodbye.
It hurts my heart, but will not be the first, nor the last.

Life goes on.

Yuck. I wanted to end this on a happy note.

The world and reality are not always pleasant though. Just look at all the acts of violence and insanity.
But, still I try my very very best to be resiliant and positive. I hope you all will too.

Remember to show it to those that mean something to you and whom you love!

Current Mood: blah/Swirly Twirly
Friday, August 17th, 2012
5:13 am
Do you ever feel you have done too much, too fast? And, you hate yourself for it?

THis sucks. I did crap like this in my 20's...but now. In your 30's, you're supposed to KNOW where you want, be headed in the right direction....have it mostly figured out. Not EVerything, but a lot. Not be going backwards.

One thing I do know, what's done is done and there's no changing it once it's done. All you really CAN do is move ahead and forward into the future. I just wish I had some idea that somehow everything would all hurry and come together.

I'm so tired of going around and around in circles. I'm dizzy.

Current Mood: gloomy
Tuesday, June 26th, 2012
5:51 am
5 am Ramblings
I just finished the first book of 50 Shades of Grey. How dissapointing....I hate an unhappy sad ending. How ironic. I mean that in more ways than one.
Though, I'm sure the second book will redeem this one. I do wish Amazon would hurry along and send my 2nd book. I knew I shouldnt have saved the $1 and bought it from some random person I don't know.

I often wonder about people in my past. The past 10 yrs and the past 10 months....Sometimes, the memories are disturbing and I wish I could push them out of my mind permanently. The bittersweet thoughts and feelings they bring sometimes instantly deflate me. Like a balloon that got popped and loses all of it's air at one time.
I also wonder if they think about me, and what do they think??? The Good? The Bad? The Ugly? Or, the happy really good times? I guess I'll never really know. It does make me very curious though. It's not that I haven't let it go, it's just that the memories flood back sometimes. I see or hear a certain thing, smell a flower, and that's all it takes.

In the present and even pushing into your future, do you still wonder and get pulled back into your past sometimes?

Current Mood: melancholy
Saturday, June 9th, 2012
10:39 pm
Helllooooooooooooooo??!!!
Does anyone come here anymore?!?!

Current Mood: curious
Wednesday, July 7th, 2010
1:02 am
First Entry of 2010
Does anyone come here anymore? I think Facebook has taken over the world, and could somehow be owned by the Government as the ultimate spying tool. If this was Facebook right now, I guarantee you SOMEone would "like" my status. Ha. Amusing. I have misssssed LJ, I had a yearning to pop in and see what's going on here. I miss all the people I used to talk to around here on a regular basis. I'm a creature of familiarities, and I have never been one to embrace Change with open arms, so in my mind THIS will always be the ultimate place to blog and share my most intimate private feelings. It's like a private getaway, a little cabin hidden away in the middle of nowhere. Too many family, co-workers, and high school riff raff are all nosy in your business on FB. Ok, I promise - that rant is over.

Anyhow, these days I work, enjoy my days off work to the fullest, work on my house alot, take naps whenever possible, and don't walk my dog nearly enough, but she's wonderful and still adores me. I adore her too, I am almost convinced I am never going to birth any babies of my own, my uterus feels sad and as my eggs release every month I can almost hear them audibly sighing. I am currently researching being a Surrogate mother for a couple who perhaps can't have a baby -- I had thought about being an egg donor, but that's a bit more difficult since someone really would have MY baby out there with my grey eyes, high cheekbones and very chubby cheeks. It's something I am still researching though -- so far, the places around here in Raleigh I have looked at -- require that you already have a child (in the home) and something else I forgot that was also ridiculous. Anyhow, I'm contemplating it....

That's all for now.

I miss everyone. Do you still remember me? : )

Current Mood: creative
Sunday, November 29th, 2009
12:44 am
Saturday Night live!
I had a glass of wine and I think I need about 14 more. SNL isnt as funny as it used to be anymore. I remember watching it and laughing and laughing.

ok, one more glass...its only 1230. An old friend I used to talk to online and I have been catching up. He apparently moved to NY for a girl - they're dating....which makes me wonder, would I ever move for the "right one"? I know the answer for me is no....if so, I may have already been gone. Lets change the subject - I had a great Thanksgiving, I hope everyone else did!

Now with Christmas on the way, I cant help but to feel a bit lonely. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh. I dont like it one bit. Lets change the subject again!

So, for about the 100th time tonight, I was told I look like Claire danes. ha! I do NOT see it. For one, shes a twig. Two, I sometimes find her attractive and other times I totally dont. Maybe its the way she turns her face. I cant help but think if *I* think this, maybe other people do -- Hmmmmmm. She has high cheekbones and grey-ish eyes and I think those are our similarities.

I thought I felt like posting an entry here, but now I dont. I feel slightly uninspired. I hope everyone is doing well though! Enjoy the rest of your weekend, dearies. xoxo

Current Mood: blank
Thursday, April 16th, 2009
4:22 am
2009?!??!
Heavens. To. Betsy. Has it really been this long? I suppose it has. Hullo to my dear LJ friends who are still here!!!


I could pretend like exciting things have happened, however - in reality -- all is pretty much the same, give or take a few things: I still work nights at the hospital, apparently the people at the top hate us lil peons, b/c they have punished us with a new computer system. Meditech 6.0 could quite possibly be linked to something to do with the antichrist.

I was dating someone.....we stopped. Now, we're dating again. Or, something or another. We just started talking again just 2 days ago...we'll see what happens. I think we're going to take it slow and enjoy our friendship, thats all I care about right now. Anytime the words "my boyfriend" come out of my mouth...something seems very odd about that. I wonder why? In any case, we both enjoy silly things like watching Family Guy, especially when we make out and laugh into each others mouths...then we laugh at that. Yeah. He likes screaming metal music that sometimes frightens me. I'm scared to ever look at the lyrics. He insists its artistic or something or other. Oh, and he's military. Mmmhm. I know.

I have a puppy! I love her more than icecream. Shes a rescue dog, and her name is Daisy. Shes a mix...australian shepherd/border collie/german shep. Shes been the easiest dog in the world to train, and I'm so proud when I come home and dont discover any accidents. However, I woke up today to scraps of paper everywhere on the floor...she loves to chew paper. Unfortunately it was 2 lottery tickets. Great! It was probally the million dollar prize, alas - I'll remain middle class with no brand spanking new car. At least I have a dog who's world absolutely revolves around me. She has the cutest face in the world so of course I forgave her. However, I'm still slightly upset about my favorite massaging recliner chair. She got on a happy chewing spree and completely severed the cord in two lovely pieces. Since then though, shes never chewed another cord. Now, the only my chair is good for is net-surfing, reclining and rocking. no more massages. :(

Hmmm. I think thats all I have to say right now. I'm about to get started back in the gym again...just a slow regimen of walking on the treadmill - I had a horrible bout with asthma and bronchitis about 3 weeks ago, and I'm trying to lose my Prednisone-eat-the-house-down weightgain.
When you're already a big girl, you certainly dont want to pack on any extra! oh!! Speaking of..thats the other thing -- I am debating whether or not to finish filling out an application for a reality show. Its called More to Love. However, I have to figure out my status with Rob first. I plan to talk to him about this tonight. So -- If you watch Fox this summer and you see "the sweet southern belle searching for true love" - Valynda - its me!! ha.
Its ridiculous, isnt it? Uh-huh. Wish me luck.

We shall see.....

Its so nice to write on here again. I'm going to make some big efforts to get back to it!!! :)

Current Mood: nostalgic
Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008
2:24 am
La La
Wasn't it Ashley Simpson that had a song -- You make me wanna La La?? heh
For some odd reason -- at work tonight, that tune is stuck in my head...

Perhaps because I DO want to LaLa....or I dunno...maybe because I've perked back up, and wanna do a few lil shakes n shimmies? In any case, I know I know...it's bad music -- but you can't help what works it's way into your head, now can you?

I leave again for Myrtle Beach on Thursday morning, and boy, am I excited! This go round, I am going with one of my best friends, Sterling and the lil group he went to school with in Ireland. I can't waaait to meet them all tomorrow! I have already talked to 3 of the 4 on the phone, and they sound like a lively bunch! I am prepared to take lots and lots of photos, and just perhaps -- I will become smart enough to post them here and show off my fluffy, tan arms! I plan to work on my browning process even more and to have lots of fun at Broadway on the Beach!! Also, one of the guys....he's a masseuse...I'm hopin for a lil sample rubdown, perhaps.
I am writing this down because I am the type person who makes things happen by putting them down on paper -- so, tomorrow - I intend to: Clean out my car and vaccum it, wash it, do laundry, pack, shop and find myself a new digital camera. All that will be after I can catch a bit of a nap.
Every few minutes, I keep looking down at my brown arms and hands. I have amazed myself how quickly I've tanned this summer. I went to the beach twice and the pool once, and already transformed into a nice mocha-ish color. Ahhh. How I love mocha-colored men. I suppose because my former-love was a Puerto Rican and my lifetime Carino-Conejito...aww! I miss him! But, unfortunately -- I am working on letting go of the OnlineLuvs. :( Its a tough thing!! But, I'm afraid in order to move into the future, you have to let go of the past....that's just how Life seems to work. Also, one day at a time -- I too often get ahead of myself. It's July already! I wish I'd get ahead of myself in the way of beginning my Christmas shopping now and being a responsible shopper who's well prepared for the Holidays -- but, alas. That is not the way I meant it. I should get back to work....I should also expand my horizons and collect some new LJ buddies! I think perhaps everyone else has shoved LJ into the Abyss as I did...but I want you all to come back!!!

Current Mood: excited
Thursday, June 12th, 2008
6:27 am
Hola LJ'ers!!!
I got a lil nudge (thanks!) so, I figured I'd make a lil come-back, say hi and see whats new around this joint! :) I hope this finds you all happy, healthy and well! All is well my way, except for the sweltering heat! My birthday is this Saturday!! I am beginning my vacation when I get off work this morning at 7am!! YAY! I leave my Myrtle Beach Sunday....then midweek, I'll be in Emerald Isle for a Bachelorette party next weekend. Summer fun! :)


I am stealing this from Ms. Jessica, I spotted it out on her LJ -- and I think it'll be a nifty thing since I've been absent for so long!

You know how sometimes people on your friend's list post about stuff going on in their life, and all of a sudden you think "Wait a minute? Since when are they working THERE? Since when are they dating HIM/HER? since when???" And then you wonder how you could have missed all that seemingly pretty standard information, but somehow you feel too ashamed to ask for clarification because it seems like info you *should* already know? It happens to all of us sometimes.

Please copy mine below, erase my answers putting yours in their place then post it in your journal! Please elaborate on the questions that would benefit from elaboration! One-Word-Answers seldom help anyone out :)



1. First Name: Valynda (I have a million nicknames though) hehe!



2. Age: Ahem. I am foreverrrr 24. :P


3. Location: Goldsboro, NC


4. Occupation: Medical Sexytary


5. Partner: I have a few partners in crime! hehehe :)


6. Kids: Negativo.


7. Brothers/Sisters: 2


8. Pets: Nope, no time.

9. List the 3-5 biggest things going on in your life: Various things going on in various areas....right now, workin nightshift, 3 days a week, 12 hour shifts - lovin my time away from the hospital! Trying to focus on my career and the future and living life one day at a time and enjoy every moment!! =)


10. Where and for what did you go to school for?: First, have gone for medical office....now I'm finishing up pre-reqs for Nursing school, hope to get in next year!



11) Parents: I have a wonderful, loving, precious mother who is like my child.


12) Who are some of your closest friends?: Oh, Lord! I cant name all my close friends, I am blessed to have alotttt of close friends in my life.....nothin like the ones you can call on no matter what though. Thru thick n thin! They know who they are :)


Hope everyone is doing well whereever you are, I sure miss the ol' LJ days! <3 <3

Current Mood: cheerful
Saturday, November 24th, 2007
5:26 pm
I hate cold, dreary Saturday afternoons spent here at work instead of snuggled up in my bed, or better yet....spending - cleaning up my cyclone of living quarters. Since, I've been running to and fro so frequently, I've neglected housework, allll over the house, and the living room is beginning to look like some sort of bachelor pad, which is sad b/c the living room is always the one room I'm insistent on keeping presentable. Reading Ashleys journal has made me want to try to focus and spend some time on my housekeeping skills.

oh well. I'm overwhelmed, I'm tired, and I am sick of poor care from so-caled nurses. My mother has staph infection in her wound. I ended up taking her to the ER yesterday for a shot of an antibiotic. 10 more days. That is all I am saying about that.


I am SO not in the Holiday spirit! Maybe once my mom is back home, it will come upon me. As of now, I do not care about decorating, shopping, wrapping, or any other involvements. What I AM interested in however (big shocker here) is appetizers. I have already come up with a list of appetizers for Christmas time! I love appetizers. Cheesestraws, sausage balls, lil smokies in the crock pot, a cheeseball, etc etc...I feel domestic and I want to cook for a large group of friends. I want to fill the air with the scents of coffee, even though i hate it, and hot chocolate and minty-things! That does make me feel cozy.

The other thing that would make me feel cozy would be some high-quality snuggling. oh well.

Another thing! I am contemplating being a paid member again -- but since its been sooo long - I wonder if they will recover alll my old cute icons! i wish they would. I have decided to post a pic here since it's been so long, this is from summer and my dear and silly friends and I. I love them so! They love me despite my frequent outbursts, silliness and constant primping and grooming, even when I whine and spend 10 minutes to place an order anywhere we eat. Those are real friends!







Monday, November 19th, 2007
9:06 pm
Murky Mondays
Nights filled with tossing and turning, and restless rest make for a tough day! I had to get up at 7am to have my mom at the dr at 8:50 for a follow up appt. I had weird dreams that included my dad and uncle who have both passed away. Then, I kept waking up thinking I had overslept. Ugh. In any case, today was filled with all sorts of tough things. My mom had the chance to get a private room, so she had to leave her beloved roommate, Ms. Bell. Ms. Bell was also quite sad, b/c she will no longer receive the same treats we take to mom -- such as Bojangles chicken and tootsie rolls. I will still visit her though! Even though, its a long hike. They are giving my mom too much Flexeril, 3 a day is toooo much for my mother, who has been taking nothing but ALeve for the past 2 yrs for pain - which is why the morphine and percocet made her so loopy at the hospital! In any case, always remember -- DONT put your parents in a nursing home unless you just absolutely Can not under any circumstances care for them any other way! Especially Britthaven or Sunbridge. Ugh. I wish I could buy and own nursing homes! It makes me so mad.
Next thing on the list to make for a horrible day: I finally pretty much had a season finale to Myself and my Latin Lovers on and off again 2 yr so-called-relationship. It made me sad, but in some ways, he made it easy. I was mad for 20 minutes, then I was incredibly sad, then I had a freshly cooked doublecheeseburger and a bag of funyuns, and it somehow soothed my soul. The oatmeal cake started to make me feel sappy again, but I made it through it.. Now, the hard part. Moving on. Starting totally from scratch. A clean slate. In some ways, people think this is good..but it makes me sad. I mean, I have been the kinda girl who somehow always seems to have a guy on Reserve somewhere. That sounds terrrible. But, dont we all do that to a point? We have friends, sometimes who we think of as more, or they think of us as more...and at different times - we come into each others lives, thru a phonecall, a visit, emails, talking, but - all in all, you are ultimately Friends. And, that is in the end - all that really matters. I have gotten lost in writing this, but somehow I feel better, and I see my slate as pretty and bright instead of dark and alone. So, maybe someone can come along and write on it, draw some hearts, smiley faces...some decorations to make it all okay again.

Big thanks to my sweeeeeeeeeet, dear friends who are going out their way to make sure I have a special Thanksgiving, despite my mom not being able to be home. This includes my fabulous family - my cousins, my aunt, grandma -- and friends I couldnt live without - Trent, David, his mom and dad, and Josh all the way in Mississippi, who's fo sho, a friend for life. Ha. This is like my very own album, and my Special Thanks Section. I can hardly wait for Friday, when we have Big Gay Thanksgiving! Hopefully, I will have pictures! uhhhhmmm, except, I dont know how to post them on here now. :(

Current Mood: confused
Friday, November 16th, 2007
4:35 pm
Egads!
Has it reallly been this long?! Heavens. Has anyone missed me? or, even noticed I left? Or, just when you THOUGHT I left?! ha!

Lets see here -- what of importance can I note here?

I feel I've become a more private type of person. I like to keep secrets, and I've gotten pretty dang good at keeping all sorts of surprises! And, the amount of bribery I have collected is unreal! I've had pastors flirting with me, and sending me risque' text message that would shock the dirtiest of girls and boys...men with girlfriends who are seeking a "good time". I swear, I question quite often if someone has played a joke on me, and has my name, number and picture posted on strip joint bathroom walls. Who knows.
I know this, I'm proud of myself - because instead of being the sort of girl who follows adventure and excitment, the forbidden and unknown -- instead, I've been a boring girl who works, goes to school, and helps the elderly carry heavy things in and out of places. Oh, and who hasnt had sex in a long, long time. But, its ok! well, sorta.
What else? My mother finally had a hip replacement, last week as a matter of fact, and it has been quite the whirlwind! Taking care of her, traveling back and forth 45 minutes each way to the hospital she was at for 6 days, and now in a Rehab center for physical therapy. It's actually a nursing home/Rehab center, and there have been problems already, but don't fear! I've showed my ass and pretended I have authority since I do work at a hospital and further proving I know my rights and shit! In any case, the number one person my mother wants to help her, to call on and just in general is none other than her lovely daughter, Valynda. Me. When she was high on pain meds, I was also the one who seemed to annoy her most with my silly quesions like " are you having pain?" "do you need anything?" -- I'm still slightly worried about the effect of pain meds -- even though, basically all she is on now is Aleve and Ultram...she is still not back to old self. Anyhow, thats the excitment as of late. Oh, and cold weather seems to have reared it's head Finallllllllllly. I have to admit even though I am poor and have been out of work so much lately -- I still got tricked into purchasing wayyy too much at Lane Bryant by those evil coupons they send out. However!! I got 2 verry cute sweaters, and 2 bras too! Also, I've already broken out my winter cute clothes. It's unbelievable the smile that winter puts on my face, when I can once again hide my fat arms and legs with outrageously cute and fasionable winter-wear! I hope I can possibly find some cute, yet extremely comfortable shoes too. It makes me sad that all cute shoes have to make my feet want to cry, but whats a girl to do?! Why cant girls wear a super cuuute outfit with her New Balances?!?! Oh well.
I am currently working on many goals in my life. I'm happier than ever with the friends I have and the relationships I've built. I can't wait for my mother to be able to come back home, and be able to walk properly again, and hopefully even drive her car! I have lots of work to do, and even though I'm currently running on empty, I hope to re-charge very soon and start preparing for the Holidays. oh. Today, I lost my voice. I still came to work though. Still a trooper, eh? Everyone who still loves me be sure to say hi, and tell me how you are doing! I want updates! =) xoxo

Current Mood: busy
Thursday, August 2nd, 2007
4:06 pm
Hi
I am alive. I wish I could muster up all the words and goings-on of the last uhhh, 5 months or so, but I am sure I can't. So I will give you the brief synopsis:

I had a Birthday, I'm another year older, and this is the first year I will most likely begin to lie about my age. I see this as totally appropriate b/c in actuality -- I really DO feel only 24. Seriously!

I have wonderful lovely friends. We get in spats, but I mean -- who wouldnt when a gayboyfriend decides to steal your camera full of racy pictures and flash it to other homosexuals in a car for kicks? We made up, and yes, I still love them. However, I can't for the life of me, figure out why gay men seem to adore female breasts so much. ?

I am still stumbling along, trying my best to figure out life. Figuring out mine has not been as difficult as in the past or as I expected it to be as I age. I know who I am, where I am going, and if I get lost, I have GPS! (isnt that what they call it?) : x So, all is well. Men are still odd and weird, and I don't spend half as much time as I used to fretting and woe-ing over things that probally will never change. I shrug my shoulders alot, I wear short skirts, I still show my cleavage way too much, but it's all a part of the extra dose of Sassy I received over the last few months. Just in case you are wondering, or care - yes, I am still single. Men do still pursue me, but it just never intrigues me the way I have set up in my mind for it to be....so, really, I can't complain. All is well. I am content. It's nothing to get bent out of shape about.

I am still in school, start the much-awaited Anat. and Physiology class I've tried for months to get in. So, that will tie up more of my time and keep me busier. I must say I think I do a fine job of juggling work, my social activities and school. This semester, I think, will pose to be a big-time challenge. However, if you know me...you know I am ALWAYS up for a good challenge. :)

I've been on a few trips...most recently, to GA. It was a fun time, though I must admit - not as I had anticipated. There's more to say, but I have work to do. Hope you all are doing well. I miss you all and reading your interesting life-happenings. Much love to each and every one who may read this. xoxo

Current Mood: nostalgic
Wednesday, January 31st, 2007
6:03 am
Not much to report lately, not alot going on really. Last week and this week, I've been working ol' nightshift 11pm-7am...so I am here now. I've slept ok...though, 7 or 8 hours of daytime sleep somehow just does NOT compare to night-sleeping. It's been fun though, I love the nightshift crew. It's been like old times. Tonight is my last night, and I'm thankful for it. Other than work, class and my crazy schedule - not much has been going on. I seem to have hit a weird sorta funk, where I want to not leave the house while I'm working nightshift, unless it is to swing into a fastfood drivethru in my pajamas to grab something to eat. I have strange cravings for baby dill pickles and chips and salsa. I hate cooking these days (not that I was ever fond of it) and hmmm, let's see --- what else? Men. Would you like to hear about that area?

Hmmmmmm. Right now, I cannot find the right words to comment on that subject. Maybe another day! Just know, all is well...and I am in a good place. Oh!! And, in my spare time with friends....Playing Nintendo Wii! That system is just awesome! Tennis and bowling are my favs, but my friend Sterling didn't tell me there's another category that has fitness and includes Hula-hooping! Isn't that neat-o?!

Hate to cut this short, but dr's and people are piling in and I gotta get busy! Hope everyone is doin well! xoxo

Current Mood: exhausted
Tuesday, January 16th, 2007
12:57 pm
Reflections of......the way Life used to be....
I was stunned to log onto Livejournal.com and see how much time has past since I last logged on! It's ridiculous - pure abandonment. But, I can't help it...peer pressure has sucked me into the frenzy called MySpace. Posts, Bulletins, Comments, Pictures! Investigating ex's and seeing what's new and improved in the lives of people I went to high school with.

In any case, I've been terribly busy in this New Year. I was quite dissapointed I was only able to sign up for one class this semester, but one is better than none. Developmental Psych is indeed interesting, but it's at 8:30 a.m. and there is one boy in particular that feels the need to babble on and on, maybe trying to convince us all of how intelligent he is....or maybe he just likes to hear himself talk. I don't know, but I'm annoyed. I am also annoyed that I seem to be a seat-drifter. Everytime I come to class, someone is in my seat in the left back corner of the room! Last class session, some new girl...and this time, some boy who stared at me as I ran in class late today, who made me feel like I had a huge mascara mark on my cheek or a booger hanging out of my nose....so I just sat in a different spot again..
Also, there is this online thing called Blackboard. I hate it. I hate the forums, and the fact we have to answer a question then comment to two responses. Ugh. If I wanted an online class, I'd have taken one!

Enough about that. Let's talk social life. Mine includes spending long weekends completely with my gay boyfriends. This is a way to distract my mind from other things, and wonderrrrfullly fun! Good food, Good friends, Laugh, Deep conversations about various subjects, Good times all around. Also, in the New Year...I am untouchable. I've spent a lot of time reflecting, asking myself what I want. Also, I have a Bitch face! I have practiced it in the mirror, and I'm pretty sure near perfection. I am for the most part, unmoved, unconcerned yet content. It's a good place to be, and helps me move forward with life on a daily basis...I know who I am, and I like that. I figure if guys can do what they want, I can too! And, I like this. The raw honesty and saying what I think. It's good to have and SHOW a sweet side, then on the other hand - be saucy and sassy, and don't have any shame in it. I'm almost 30 also. Can you believe that?!

Current Mood: happy
Wednesday, January 3rd, 2007
3:01 am
How's 2007 for you?
Happy New Years and junk a day or two late!

My new year was happily spent with my boyfriends at a gay party in Raleigh. And, I don't mean gay in a bad way....it was ALL MOSTLY men there...and though, we finally went upstairs and found our own private room for our lil group, I think next go round, I should spend it at a party with at least SOME straight men, so I can somehow feel sought after. ha. It's ok though, I still had an excellent time. For the most part, I stayed sober, and watched a few of them get drunk. It was hilarious, and oddly enough when gay men get drunk - they forget they like boys! My breasts were the party favor of the night it seemed. :x
Good times!

I haven't made any silly resolutions, however I have in mind some changes I'd like to make, improvements, etc etc. For the most part, I've kinda rolled with it...easy going, gliding along. I like it.

Did I tell you I took a bad fall on Friday morning? I can't remember...I slid, and fell really hard on my right hip, back and shoulder, I came on into work (since I DO work at a hospital) and the pain got reallly bad, so I went and got xrayed. Nothing broken, yay! I AM still sore though...so, that was my End-of-the-year badluck spree. NO MORE. 1. Car died 2. Glasses broken 3. Val takes a Tumble

But! At least...1. Got my car fixed! 2 Have an eye appt on Thurs to get new glasses, and at least I had my spare pair.

So, positive thoughts ahead....I sign up for classes again tomorrow...I only have 2 more I can take before I get into the program, so I'm shooting for Developmental Psych and A&P. Here's hoping I get another cuute teacher! =)

Current Mood: hopeful
Tuesday, December 26th, 2006
10:10 pm
Merry! Merry! ? ?
Hope everyone had a wonderful Holiday! I can't complain, my Christmas was wonderful...I loved all my great prizes. Clothes, shoes, DVDs, CD's, perfumes, Baskets and bags and loads of Bath and Bodyworks lotions and whatnot! It was all lovely. My dear sweet mother gave me the money to get one of those cute lil razor phones with the MP3 player on it...so I will get right on that in the next week or so perhaps.

So, let's break this down into categories, so I won't get too horribly sad and poke my lips out.

And, in staying on the positive note -- we will begin with:


Good News: I made a C in Chemistry! I passed, yay! The final was sooo hard, I cried afterwards, and was the last person to leave the class with a verry heavy heart. I didn't make a good grade on the final, but my professor passed me anyhow. I am going with the reason for passing being - the weekend before the final we had both attended the same Christmas party, we seem to share mutual friends, and I have pictures of him and I with our arms around each other all huddled up lover-stle perhaps? ha. I dunno. Maybe he DOES love me....but, he did come up and visit me at work on Sat. (he had a friend in the hospital) and let me know I did earn my grade...I am totally sending him a Starbucks gift certificate. Other good news: I had a great Christmas, found out there ARE guys who do indeed have crushes on me, managed to finish all my shopping and NOT at the last minute. I am sure there are more good things, but at this time, they are pushed somewhere far in the back of my brain.

Bad News: On Saturday, Dec. 23rd, on my way to work - my car started acting all weird - my clock went in and out, my radio was blinking on and off, my airbag light and some other orange light came on, and pretty much I was afraid my car was goign to explode and I'd die horribly in a blaze, or the airbag was about to pop out and knock out my two front teeth. Neither happened, thankfully, but halfway to work - my car sputtered a bit, and decided to totalllllly die - all I had time to do was swing onto the side of the road.
I had to call a towtruck to come pick up my car, take it to the mechanic shop who works on my car sometimes, who told me I wouldnt be able to get my car back till Wed. Long story short - it was the alternator, it costed $400.00 to get fixed, I DID get it back today (add that to GoodNews column!)
However, last night around 10 pm here at work, I was cleaning my glasses lazy-girl style on my scrubs, and my frame snapped and broke at the top. So, a friend at work taped my glasses in true ghettofabulous fashion. I will go tomorrow, when the place is opened back up and see if my insurance will cover to fix them. Thankfully, I found my spare pair in my beachbag.

So, I am making it. End of the year Badluck....making room for Goodluck for the beginning of the year?
Let's hope so.

Also, can I say....at our Christmas Eve family get-together, I can't help but feel loserish when my 20 year old and 22 year old cousins bring their boyfriend and girlfriend, all huddled up giggling and snuggling and holding hands and my little cousins say - "Valynda, when are YOU getting married?!" le sigh. It's kinda sad...I am really longing for a decent gentleman to bring on my arm to meet my family. It's all so sweet and snug.

Current Mood: blah
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